25 & Trying

Only Child Mode.

Only Child Time!

Being an only child has always been a defining part of who I am. I think I always believed that only children were unique – and that it somehow made me special. Sure, there were those times at ages 6 or 7 that I asked my parents for a sibling – but I quickly gave up hope.

According to recent studies, only children have actually increased 30% in the United States. In my native New York, single-child homes are WAY more preferable/affordable.

I think being an only child has been really good to me and really bad to me all at the same time. I have figured many things out on my own, and learned at an early age to solve problems independently.

I am not as good of a sharer, and I also have to bear the brunt of the insanity of my parents – which gets harder as you get older (I am slowly learning). Sometimes, I have a hard time being alone. Which sounds counter intuitive – I know – but I guess when you are used to being your parent’s center of attention, things can be challenging as you get older.

At work sometimes, I go into “Only Child Mode.” I expect people to understand me when they may not. I get frustrated by subtle cues I SWEAR I HAVE GIVEN OFF and people don’t get. It’s unreasonable, and most of the time, unfounded. I have to relearn how to communicate these things.

I get scared of risks. I don’t know if this is really an only child trait, or simply a particular family thing, but I definitely get scared of them. This kind of comes from being “babied” as an only child, but also because I have no fearless examples to look to – and I’m not some cool older sister who can show the young one’s how it’s done. It’s just me.

Also, I am shy. I credit this to being an only child because of the fact that you learn to do things so well on your own, that you forget about learning with others. This is definitely something I’ve worked hard to get over in the workplace. Being able to talk to coworkers can sometimes make or break your day.

Today has been an only child day, that’s for sure. But I think the best thing about being an only child is that you’ve had time to get to know yourself. You can figure out what scares you and why it does – and you can know yourself enough to make a change.